Random thoughts...

[Dave1442397]

With ebay, I have no expectations, I just place the bid and cross my fingers. I'm offering X take or leave it, because 9 times out of 10,it'll be for sale next week.

The last few ebay items I wanted, I just added to my watch list and waited. I had three sellers contact me with offers of 30-40% off their buy it now price.

[Brian861]

The last few ebay items I wanted, I just added to my watch list and waited. I had three sellers contact me with offers of 30-40% off their buy it now price.

I've taken advantage of several offers like this as well,.

[Brian861]

With ebay, I have no expectations, I just place the bid and cross my fingers. I'm offering X take or leave it, because 9 times out of 10,it'll be for sale next week.

Exactly.

[Ben Staad]

Going through some serious personal stuff right now. Never knew I could feel so poorly.

Panic attacks, anxiety, little sleep, and trouble eating.

Always thought I was tough and managed through many difficult situations. But life just proved to me that I am a marshmallow or life just proved that no person can withstand the test of time.

Reading Robert Frost probably isn't very helpful either. It's funny how, dependent on mood/feelings, there is a tendency to gravitate towards things that are not that helpful. I want to stay hopeful, positive, and cheery, however I keep going towards things that are not.

[mhatchett]

Going through some serious personal stuff right now. Never knew I could feel so poorly.

Panic attacks, anxiety, little sleep, and trouble eating.

Always thought I was tough and managed through many difficult situations. But life just proved to me that I am a marshmallow or life just proved that no person can withstand the test of time.

Reading Robert Frost probably isn't very helpful either. It's funny how, dependent on mood/feelings, there is a tendency to gravitate towards things that are not that helpful. I want to stay hopeful, positive, and cheery, however I keep going towards things that are not.

As someone who has gone through a bout or two of PTSD, please reach out for help, talk to a professional, it will make all the difference.

[Martin]

Going through some serious personal stuff right now. Never knew I could feel so poorly.

Panic attacks, anxiety, little sleep, and trouble eating.

Always thought I was tough and managed through many difficult situations. But life just proved to me that I am a marshmallow or life just proved that no person can withstand the test of time.

Reading Robert Frost probably isn't very helpful either. It's funny how, dependent on mood/feelings, there is a tendency to gravitate towards things that are not that helpful. I want to stay hopeful, positive, and cheery, however I keep going towards things that are not.

I have experienced the darkest days of my life this year. Your note describes what I have felt this year on the nose. If I can assist you in any way please reach out! Take care.

[jeffingoff]

Going through some serious personal stuff right now. Never knew I could feel so poorly.

Panic attacks, anxiety, little sleep, and trouble eating.

Always thought I was tough and managed through many difficult situations. But life just proved to me that I am a marshmallow or life just proved that no person can withstand the test of time.

Reading Robert Frost probably isn't very helpful either. It's funny how, dependent on mood/feelings, there is a tendency to gravitate towards things that are not that helpful. I want to stay hopeful, positive, and cheery, however I keep going towards things that are not.

We are living identical if parallel nightmares. I've been battling panic attacks regularly lately. I got my doc to write me a prescription for ativan and he recommended I go back on lexipro. I'm resisting the daily lexipro because I was on it for a couple of years and while it helped tremendously, I didn't like how removed from the world I felt. But that ativan is life-saving. When panic is thudding in my chest and making me shiver to pieces, that one little pill gets me out of my shuddering hell. I've also had a bunch of tests and while my heart seems fine, it seems I have sleep apnea. I'm trying to take on the physical and the mental while I still have health insurance.

Tonight, when I go to bed, I'll be terrified of dying. I'm working on it. And it's a completely unfair fight having my brain weaponized against me.

I share this so you know this is far more common than you realize. The pandemic, the unrest, the election, the rising unemployment, individually, these are all very stressful events. Together, they are overwhelming.

You are not a marshmallow. It's a lot and sometimes it feels too much. But if I'm still here than there's no reason you won't be standing here too. None of what you described or I shared are signs of weakness. Get any help you can get. I'm resisting lexipro but I'm all for lexipro. I'm feeling positive about my heart tests so that will give my panic a few less bullets. But if it roars and tries to eat me tonight and tomorrow and the next night, I'll start the lexipro the very next morning.

Have faith that everything is temporary. The bad things all pass. So do the good things, so try to cling to those and let go of anything that gets in the way. Get exercise. Get pills. Get more awesome books. Get better.

[RonClinton]

I'm fortunate that I've never really been subject to some of the emotional and mental issues that so many face, so all I was going to be able to offer was some very sincere but overused platitudes, to at least let you know you were being heard and thought of...but then Jeff posted this heartfelt message:

Have faith that everything is temporary. The bad things all pass. So do the good things, so try to cling to those and let go of anything that gets in the way. Get exercise. Get pills. Get more awesome books. Get better.

...and I can't possibly offer anything better than that. I hope Jeff's message brings you at least a small sense of peace, that you're not alone and the saying that "tomorrow is another day" is only trite because it's true...things pass, things do get better.

[Ben Staad]

Thank you all for the kind words and support. Its also, in a weird way, comforting to know that I am not the only one dealing with challenges. Makes me feel a little less alone.

I have scheduled an appointment to talk with someone and think I probably need to see a medical doctor. Maybe see about something to ease my anxiety.

[Brian861]

Thank you all for the kind words and support. Its also, in a weird way, comforting to know that I am not the only one dealing with challenges. Makes me feel a little less alone.

I have scheduled an appointment to talk with someone and think I probably need to see a medical doctor. Maybe see about something to ease my anxiety.

Best of luck to you, Tim. My daughter suffers from anxiety and daily medication helps tremendously. You'll probably also learn about what triggers yours and how to avoid those triggers. Not a cure all but it's made a huge difference in her case.

[jeffingoff]

Thank you all for the kind words and support. Its also, in a weird way, comforting to know that I am not the only one dealing with challenges. Makes me feel a little less alone.

I have scheduled an appointment to talk with someone and think I probably need to see a medical doctor. Maybe see about something to ease my anxiety.

Knowing I'm not alone was so important for me. You're not weird, weak, or wicked. The brain is an organ and warehouse and a gatekeeper and a circuit board and scrapbook and a movie theater. Most of all it's a control room. It's the only organ that can betray you in diabolical ways. Your liver won't make you think you're worthless. Your colon won't convince you that you're a defect.

Don't listen to that voice. It sounds like you, but it's an imitation. Anxiety is doing an impression. Grab those thoughts, label them, reject them. Answer only to the morning.

If pills pump the brakes take them.

I'm so sorry you're experiencing this.

[Martin]

We are living identical if parallel nightmares. I've been battling panic attacks regularly lately. I got my doc to write me a prescription for ativan and he recommended I go back on lexipro. I'm resisting the daily lexipro because I was on it for a couple of years and while it helped tremendously, I didn't like how removed from the world I felt. But that ativan is life-saving. When panic is thudding in my chest and making me shiver to pieces, that one little pill gets me out of my shuddering hell. I've also had a bunch of tests and while my heart seems fine, it seems I have sleep apnea. I'm trying to take on the physical and the mental while I still have health insurance.

Tonight, when I go to bed, I'll be terrified of dying. I'm working on it. And it's a completely unfair fight having my brain weaponized against me.

I share this so you know this is far more common than you realize. The pandemic, the unrest, the election, the rising unemployment, individually, these are all very stressful events. Together, they are overwhelming.

You are not a marshmallow. It's a lot and sometimes it feels too much. But if I'm still here than there's no reason you won't be standing here too. None of what you described or I shared are signs of weakness. Get any help you can get. I'm resisting lexipro but I'm all for lexipro. I'm feeling positive about my heart tests so that will give my panic a few less bullets. But if it roars and tries to eat me tonight and tomorrow and the next night, I'll start the lexipro the very next morning.

Have faith that everything is temporary. The bad things all pass. So do the good things, so try to cling to those and let go of anything that gets in the way. Get exercise. Get pills. Get more awesome books. Get better.

I have severe sleep apnea. When I was prescribed a CPAP I was told directly that not using it would kill me. It took a couple of weeks to adjust but it helps more than you can imagine. I am completely dependent on it. If they want you to use one I suggest you use it and get used to it.

[Martin]

Thank you all for the kind words and support. Its also, in a weird way, comforting to know that I am not the only one dealing with challenges. Makes me feel a little less alone.

I have scheduled an appointment to talk with someone and think I probably need to see a medical doctor. Maybe see about something to ease my anxiety.

I do recommend talking to someone and speaking to a medical doctor. My Primary care physician is working closely with me to determine if additional steps are needed. Jeff mentioned Ativan. Oddly I have some in the house as it helped my wife with anxiety during her treatment. You may want to ask your doctor about something like that as the temporary relief from the anxiety helped my wife break the cycle at times.

[jeffingoff]

I have severe sleep apnea. When I was prescribed a CPAP I was told directly that not using it would kill me. It took a couple of weeks to adjust but it helps more than you can imagine. I am completely dependent on it. If they want you to use one I suggest you use it and get used to it.

Sorry you have that issue, but I'm thrilled the solution worked so well. I have to have my follow-up to find out how bad it is for me. If they tell me to slap on the CPAP, they won't get a peep of protest out of me.

[Martin]

Sorry you have that issue, but I'm thrilled the solution worked so well. I have to have my follow-up to find out how bad it is for me. If they tell me to slap on the CPAP, they won't get a peep of protest out of me.

It takes getting used to but really helps.