srboone's collection

[srboone]

Why did I get two chocolate labs? I really don't know. They were brothers and they looked so cute playing and rough housing together...now they play and rough house all over my house. I had to put one in his cage and hold the other in my legs to get them to stand still for these. They're 3 1/2 months old and in a year I'm going to have two monsters on my hands. Jake (the runt of the litter) is going to be 85 lbs and will be a good hunting dog. Bear is going to be 100lbs, but will make a nice house dog--just seems to struggle with running and jumping and doesn't bark much at all.

What was I thinking?

[srboone]

Growing up, I hated dogs. On my newspaper routes, I got bitten by so many, I lost count. Between 6th grade and 12th grade, I had 5 tetanus shots! I thought they were good for 10 years! But then, I read something that changed my mind: If God were to withdraw all of his gifts from the world (including Man's mastery over the beasts) and Mankind re-entered the food chain on a lower level, only two animals would remain faithful to him: the cow (which is too stupid to do anything else, so it's more indifference) and the dog--Man's real BFF. It took a while, but I gradually changed my 'tude on the matter.

[Patrick]

Twins! Ha ha!

They'll be work, but they'll bring happiness too. Good for you!

[TerryE]

There really is no better friend than a good dog.

[Grant Wootton]

Except a cow, cos you can eat them

[srboone]

Good point., Mr. Woot. And they are so accepting of their fate! No hard feelings. But I keep thinking of the faithful Kojak in The Stand...

[Grant Wootton]

Good point., Mr. Woot. And they are so accepting of their fate! No hard feelings. But I keep thinking of the faithful Kojak in The Stand...

Until it all goes ---- horribly wrong

Fat and docile, big and dumb
They look so stupid, they aren't much fun
Cows aren't fun

They eat to grow, they grow to die
They die to be eat at the hamburger fry
Cows well done

Nobody thunk it, nobody knew
No one imagined the great cow guru
Cows are one

He hid in the forest, read books with great zeal
He loved Che Guevera, a revolutionary veal
Cow Tse Tongue

He spoke about justice, but nobody stirred
He felt like an outcast, alone, in the herd.
Cow doldrums

He mooed we must fight, escape or we'll die
Cows gathered around, cause the stakes were so high
Bad cow pun

But then he was captured, stuffed into a crate
Loaded onto a truck, where he rode to his fate
Cows are bummed

He was a scrawny calf, who looked rather woozy
No one suspected he was packing Uzi
Cows with guns

They came with a needle to stick in his thigh
He kicked for the groin, he pissed in their eye
Cow well hung

Knocked over a tractor and ran for the door
Six gallons of gas flowed out on the floor
Run cows run!

He picked up a bullhorn and jumped up on the hay
We are free roving bovines, we run free today

We will fight for bovine freedom
And hold our large heads high
We will run free with the Buffalo, or die...
Cows with guns

They crashed the gate in a great stampede
Tipped over a milk truck, torched all the feed
Cows have fun

Sixty police cars were piled in a heap
Covered in cow pies, covered up deep
Much cow dump

Black smoke rising, darkening the day
Twelve burning McDonalds, have it your way

We will fight for bovine freedom
And hold our large heads high
We will run free with the Buffalo, or die
Cows with guns

The President said "Enough is Enough!
These uppity cattle, its time to get tough"
Cow dung flung

The newspapers gloated, folks sighed with relief
Tomorrow at noon, they would all be ground beef
Cows on buns

The cows were surrounded, they waited and prayed
They mooed their last moos,
they chewed their last hay
Cows out gunned

The order was given, turn cows to whoppers
Enforced by the might of ten thousand coppers
But on the horizon, surrounding the shoppers
Came the deafening roar, of chickens, in choppers!

We will fight for bovine freedom
And hold our large heads high
We will run free with the Buffalo, or die
Cows with guns

[srboone]

Where do you come up with this stuff, Mr. Woot? I thought in OZ, all there was was "The Man from Snowy River", "Waltzing Matilda", and the that quote from Dorthy Mackellar. Versewise.

[Grant Wootton]

Where do you come up with this stuff, Mr. Woot? I thought in OZ, all there was was "The Man from Snowy River", "Waltzing Matilda", and the that quote from Dorthy Mackellar. Versewise.

Tut tut Mr Boone - should you wish to explore some classic Australia poetry, see the clip on this YouTube link

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=97YnGQE1q6M

[srboone]

Something else from my collection: got it somewhere in Sydney:

AV.jpg

So obviously my knwledge of Australian verse is limited.

[srboone]

And as for Austrailian music:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LladTefwqD8

Again, the limitations of my Oz knowledge are exposed.

[Grant Wootton]

And as for Austrailian music:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LladTefwqD8

Again, the limitations of my Oz knowledge are exposed.

Gag !!!!!!!

[srboone]

Gag !!!!!!!

Oh, come on now! I like John Williamson! Besides, Mr. Woot, You could end up being one of these:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O9f0QOh5KAU

[Ben Staad]

Why did I get two chocolate labs? I really don't know. They were brothers and they looked so cute playing and rough housing together...now they play and rough house all over my house. I had to put one in his cage and hold the other in my legs to get them to stand still for these. They're 3 1/2 months old and in a year I'm going to have two monsters on my hands. Jake (the runt of the litter) is going to be 85 lbs and will be a good hunting dog. Bear is going to be 100lbs, but will make a nice house dog--just seems to struggle with running and jumping and doesn't bark much at all.

What was I thinking?

Congrats! I love big dogs and I have two myself.

[Ronald Kelly]

Here's the last one I was expecting--that doesn't mean that another won't be coming.

[ATTACH=CONFIG]2267[/ATTACH]

Very nice, Squire. The first time anyone has ever framed a story of mine, I believe.