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Get a Free Copy of The Butterman Cometh

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    Get a Free Copy of The Butterman Cometh

    The Zombie Archives cover2.jpg

    I'm giving away 10 copies of my short, The Butterman Cometh between today and tomorrow. If you email me your address to I'll shoot you a Kindle copy.


    Mankind has just been knocked off his perch atop the food chain. The zombie apocalypse is here. But it didn't come alone. Sure, there are legions of hungry mouths, tearing hands, and soulless eyes, but the apocalypse brought a friend. A distant memory that terrified you as a child- remember that creepy cereal mascot in the one commercial with the kids and how he used to chase them around until they found conspicuously placed breakfast bowls in the middle of nowhere? Turns out that guy is really real. And this time, the kids don't get away. Nobody does.

    “She’s supposed to be dead,” Michael said, drawing her attention back upstairs. “The children are ours.”

    “Mooooooom,” Connor whined, bringing Michael’s attention back to Kerry. She was as close as he was going to let her get and charged.

    Michael wasn’t prepared and instead of trying to stab her with the screwdriver he took a swing at her. This time he did make contact, his fist glancing off the top of her head, making her vision double. But he howled in pain as one of his fingers snapped on her skull. Sally snatched the children back into the bedroom as Kerry forced him backward. The screwdriver clattered to the floor and she half-tripped over it, losing some of her momentum. That was enough for Michael to get his feet under him and stop. He brought his forearms down on her back once, then a second time, dropping Kerry to one knee.

    She heard the creek of the stairs a zombie began to ascend. The Butterman wouldn’t be far behind. She had to put Michael down or get him to back off long enough for her and the kids to get away.

    He wriggled free from her grip and swung. She was able to dip her head so the blow was mostly glancing, but it almost knocked Kerry down the stairs. She got her feet under her, brought her knees up to her chest, and kicked out at the zombie not two feet away. It hurtled into another behind it and they both crashed at the bottom of the landing.

    Michael’s eyes were locked on her, oozing hate. Kerry realized Sally and the children were screaming, but she had to block them out. Either this ended in the next few seconds or they were all dead.

    Michael jumped forward and peppered her face with two jabs. They stung, but that was about it. He didn’t want to use that broken hand. Kerry dropped to her knees, realizing she had the hammer in her hand still.

    “Stop hurting my mommy!” Connor said and she heard his little feet after he broke away from Sally’s grip. He ran over and started wailing at Michael’s leg.

    That’s my good boy, she thought, fishing the hammer out of her pants. She peeked up and saw Michael with a semi-surprised look on his face.

    Kerry brought the hammer back and swung. Michael batted Connor into the wall and caught the hammer, snatching it away. He sneered at her.

    “Michael, stop!” Sally said. He looked at his wife and Kerry felt the screwdriver by her leg. Michael eyed his wife and looked back at Kerry, who had grasped the handle of the screwdriver. He reared back with the hammer and swung and Kerry pitched forward, bringing her screwdriver around. Michael’s eyes went wide as the hammer missed and she plunged the screwdriver into his foot. It went easily through leather, bone, and flesh, before stopping in the hardwood floor.

    Michael howled and tried to jump as the hammer clattered to the floor, but the tool driven through his foot at this sharp angle kept him snagged to the floor. Kerry backed away from him, kicking the handle and bending it, feeling the satisfaction of knowing she’d done enough to kill him.

    Kerry cradled her son to her thigh when Maddy screamed. Kerry looked and saw the Butterman staring up at them from the bottom of the stairs.

    Not staring at them. Maddy. Kerry looked over her shoulder at Michael, whose eyes had also gone wide, looking at the Butterman.

    “Don’t leave me here,” he said. “You can’t.” Kerry retreated to the bedroom with her son in tow, the Butterman’s eyes locked on her boy. Zombies downstairs all waited behind him. She shoved Sally out the way and shut the door.

    “Does this door lock?” Kerry said to Sally. Kerry slapped her. “Does. This. Door. Lock?” The woman’s eyes came into focus and she stared daggers into Kerry.

    “After all we’ve done for you—how could you?” Sally shoved Kerry aside and pushed Maddy to the floor, pulling herself to her feet. Kerry was about to hit her again, but the stairs were creaking as the Butterman and company came up. Let Sally open it. Let her open it and run to her husband. Let them die together as the Butterman or the zombies ate them both. That would give her more time to get the kids outside.

    Sally threw open the door and he was waiting right there. He had to have been over seven feet tall, Kerry would have guessed. Sally yelped in surprise and tried to turn, but he seized her by the back of the neck, lifting her off the floor. He tilted his head to the side and smiled at the three of them, huddled together, as if to say, ‘Be with ya in a minute!’ before shaking Sally like a ragdoll before tossing her downstairs.

    “Sally!” Michael screamed from the hall. The woman whimpered briefly before there were thick sounds like a hundred garbage bags being torn apart all at once. Kerry broke free of Connor and Maddy’s little hands and pushed the bed in the Butterman’s direction.

    “We gotta go now, kids,” Kerry said, moving to the window. “Right now.” She unlatched the window. It slid up easily and she swooped Connor up and out, laying him flat on the roof and then grabbed for Maddy.

    Her daughter backed away from her.


    “Mom, I’m slipping!”

    Kerry looked over her shoulder at Connor. He’d slid a couple inches. She had to grab her daughter. Maddy took a couple more steps back and she was standing by the bed. Kerry grabbed Maddy’s hand and her daughter bit her.

    “Ouch!” Kerry stared at her daughter and saw the vacant look in her eyes.

    “Mommy!” Connor shouted again. She looked back to see Maddy climbing onto the bed. Toward the Butterman. He held his hands out for her, a wide smile on his face.