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Showing vs Telling

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    #16
    Okay, quick example.

    Telling: Pete's neighbors were very helpful.
    Showing: Pete's neighbors would bring the mail up for him some days. John would mow the lawn for Pete some weeks and plow the driveway in the winter. And Mary would often bring over soup or dessert when she made too much.

    Is the list really better? Or should those examples be spread out to avoid the list.

    Opinions welcome.
    "Dance until your feet hurt. Sing until your lungs hurt. Act until you're William Hurt." - Phil Dunphy ("Modern Family"), from Phil's-osophy.

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      #17
      This is why I think Michael Knost's class "Show, Don't just Tell" was so helpful for me. I'm not claiming to be an expert of course, but in the last few weeks my writing has changes significantly, and even appears to still be changing. It's a matter of when things click on certain things I think.

      For me, the telling part would be useful with details that the reader needs to know, but aren't so important. But you want to use your showing in dramatic points, to create a mood. It's the difference between telling someone John killed his neighbor, and discussing the act blow by blow. This could include a lot of things such as how he holds the knife, the way the blood splatters, the sounds, what part of the body is being punctured, etc. This can make the scene very visual, and three dimensional.

      My point before was, as with all things, too much of a good thing can be bad. I've never read a story chock full of showing to the point it came off fluffy, but I would imagine too much would slow the pace down. Pacing is very important in a story as well. However, if the goal is to do that, than it might not be so bad.

      So you have decide, what things does my reader just need to hear in detail, versus the things they just need to hear in passing. You might foreshadow with great detail and showing, only eluding to your plot. It would be slow, and the reader would be engaged. If you were telling, they might pass by very quickly, and not catch your point. But some things just aren't so important, and yet they make the story move.

      I do think your example works better in itself, but I am unsure of how it would work within a story without reading it. Just my current thoughts n the matter. Hope this was helpful.
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