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Thread: LET'S WRITE A STORY!

  1. #41
    Senior Member 1st Electroshock Session TerryE's Avatar
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    Moderator Edit: What Has Gone Before (page 2):

    Yes, at least out of this conversation. But just thinking about my... "unauthorized surgeries" is bringing back all the old urges.

    And in a flash, like lightning lighting up a darkened sky, I thrust the knife into the cardboard box...

    The box easily yields to my knife as I slice down the sides and let the true nature of my new gift be fully revealed...

    As the box shakes, her eyes snap open, the beautiful terror glowing. It is the same woman. But as my devilish new companion said, there were obviously a lot of altercations, and alterations, in her existence since I left her floating in Taggert Swamp, fourteen months ago.

    If I remember right, her physical beauty was not what originally captured my interest back then, no. Instead, what I sensed deep within her mottled soul intrigued me such that...

    I had to capture her essence. She stirred feelings in the darkest, innermost parts of my heart that I hadn't felt in years. My abilities would allow me....

    to at least glimpse what was inside of her, even if I could not keep it for myself. I took her, drugged her, and made my cuttings, only to find she was as ordinary as anyone else inside. Maybe she deserved better, but in my frustration and disappointment...

    I felt the stirrings of my ruined manhood. Finally. Somewhere out there was someone so unique that the few exquite moments moments I would have inside her would bring back what had been taken from me in the war. I knew...

    I would not be able to control myself.I struggled with the hurt and the wanting to hurt.Finally I could take it no longer I grab her by the hair and......

    ...and stripped her of the greasy fur coat she was wearing. Why such an ugly garment had been chosen to cover her beautiful body was beyond my comprehension.

    Her body had been beautiful when I met her last year. And the cuts I made were clean, surgical. I'd left her in a swamp, to die and I'm sure there must have been infections, but this... this thing before me now...

    ...took my breath away. The cuts I had made on her before were ripe red in color, almost as if I had just made them yesterday. There were no scabs, nothing that took away from the beauty of my work.

    "Thank you," I whispered to my visitor. "You have shown me the path to my salvation. I can now continue to...

    ...heal myself. The war... it changed me. But when I cut, each piece of flesh that falls to the floor is like a piece of me, of my sanity, coming back together again."

    I took a last inhale from my cigarette and butted it in the overflowing ash tray, tilting my head as the smoke coursed through is soothing way through my lungs and out my nostrils. From the breast pocket of the workshirt I'd slept in...again, I removed a sweat-stained roll of Black Gold, fired up and toaked.

    "Thank you," I wheezed again, passing him the joint.

    "No thank you, I'm on the clock." The delivery man gave me a crooked smile and produced a tiny digital video recorder. "Mind if I film? They want to see your work."

    "I thought you knew my work."
    "Oh, I know everything about you. But They don't."

    Intrigued, I decided that I would let him film.

    With an unrelenting joy in my heart,ajoy I had not felt in months,I grabbed the knife smiled at the camera and.........
    __________________________________________

    resumed the work I had started so long before. Number One had been fully anesthetized when I worked on her last. After her, I started to delight in their pain. This time...
    Last edited by srboone; 07-13-2012 at 02:50 AM.
    "Dance until your feet hurt. Sing until your lungs hurt. Act until you're William Hurt." - Phil Dunphy ("Modern Family"), from Phil's-osophy.

  2. #42
    Senior Member Inmate Xiabei's Avatar
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    any feelings of doubt were long gone. I was inside of myself and outside of myself; I was outside of her and inside of her; it was as if I discovered the answers to the riddles of the universe and found them all wanting in comparison to how this made me feel.
    Last edited by Xiabei; 07-13-2012 at 04:49 AM. Reason: changed a few words

  3. #43
    Senior Member Involuntarily Committed HorrorScribe's Avatar
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    In my state of newfound glory, I examined the features of my curious visitor. The joint fell from my suddenly trembling fingers. My glee evaporated, for I knew him. From before. My old war injury sang. "You," I gasped.
    "Do or do not. There is no try." - Yoda

  4. #44
    Senior Member Jeez! Don't you have anything better to do with your time? bookworm 1's Avatar
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    "I thought you were dead.I plunged that knife into you 5 -6 times you were bleeding like a stuck pig.How....How ....how did you survive sarge?""You evil son of a bitch.I killed you.You sent us into that war zone knowing we did not stand a chance.You got 25 men killed with your stupid aragance.You bastard why didn't you just die"?

  5. #45
    Senior Member 2nd Rubber Room Confinement peteOcha's Avatar
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    Sarge grinned back at me and said, "Son, I did die."

  6. #46
    Senior Member 1st Electroshock Session TerryE's Avatar
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    "And I guess you're right about me being evil. I made some new friends on the other side. And They showed me how you've been spending your time."

    (thanks guys, you set me up to bring "They" back into it)
    Last edited by TerryE; 07-13-2012 at 08:45 PM.
    "Dance until your feet hurt. Sing until your lungs hurt. Act until you're William Hurt." - Phil Dunphy ("Modern Family"), from Phil's-osophy.

  7. #47
    Senior Member Ok, I really can't come up with anymore of these stupid things... srboone's Avatar
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    I paused, still reeling from the fact that the man responsible for my condition was standing in my living room. "Then why the camera, shitbag?," I spat at Sarge. "I thought you said THEY didn't know my work." Sarge grinned and...

    (couldn't resist the bit about the camera...)
    "I'm a vegan. "

    ---Kirby Bliss Blanton , The Green Inferno (2013)

  8. #48
    Senior Member Jeez! Don't you have anything better to do with your time? bookworm 1's Avatar
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    ....Said "I lied you dirt bag.Besides they love to watch.So what now dirt bag what now.You want to make a real movie,or do you want to be part of one.I am fine with either option dirt bag.So whats it gonna be.Speak!!!!!Cut this silence crap and speak!"
    I stood there still silent unsure of what to say or what to do.Then it came to me............

  9. #49
    Senior Member 1st Electroshock Session TerryE's Avatar
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    said, "No. I said I know everything, but They don't know everything. They know enough to want to know more. I never met any of the big bosses, but the ones I did know sensed your beginning, and sensed our connection, and had enough power to send me back to watch and report. They were greatly disappointed by your "retirement". We had such high hopes."

    (Note: Bookworm and I added the last two posts at the same time. Next contributor, please choose one line to continue with and we'll roll from there)
    Last edited by TerryE; 07-14-2012 at 02:06 PM. Reason: avoid confusion about simultaneous postings.
    "Dance until your feet hurt. Sing until your lungs hurt. Act until you're William Hurt." - Phil Dunphy ("Modern Family"), from Phil's-osophy.

  10. #50
    Senior Member Ok, I really can't come up with anymore of these stupid things... srboone's Avatar
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    Not taking my eyes off Sarge, I retrieved the smoldering roach and took a last drag. Held it in, let the stuff work it's magic. Now wasn't the time for settling old scores. Now was the time for...

    (Sorry guys, I balked...)
    "I'm a vegan. "

    ---Kirby Bliss Blanton , The Green Inferno (2013)

  11. #51
    Senior Member Jeez! Don't you have anything better to do with your time? bookworm 1's Avatar
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    ending this horror.I picked up the knife and plunged it into myself over and over.With my intestines slowly spilling to the floor I looked up at Sarge and with my last bit of strength smirked and gave him the one finger salute.Darkness started setteling in over me. The end was close.

  12. #52
    Senior Member Inmate Xiabei's Avatar
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    settling this. I took the knife and plunged it through his right eye, into his brain. I stood panting, amazed that I was able to resist what he had been saying. I was shaking a bit so I sat down at the kitchen table and lit another cigarette. As I did, the phone rang. Despite being shaken by everything, I answered it. "Good day," said an unrecognizable voice on the other end. "I wanted to be the first to congratulate you on your new job. As soon as you feel up to it, there's someone we'd like you to go see. We'll be in touch."

  13. #53
    Senior Member Ok, I really can't come up with anymore of these stupid things... srboone's Avatar
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    Everybody seems to be ending the story their own way. I love it! Jumpin' off from BW's last post:

    The encroaching darkness soothed my pain and I stared at my entrails heaped on the floor. I had tried looking for the solution to my problem by looking at the insides of others, but never tried looking at my own. I slowly reached into the cut I had made. Instantly the pain flared up and I smiled in spite of it; it meant I was alive. I worked my way up until I found my heart. It's beat was weak, but strong enough. I caressed it gently for a moment, finally understanding at the end. I closed my eyes and started to squeeze.

    I died with a raging hardon. Bet you didn't think you were talking to a dead guy, huh?

    So much for cold turkey.
    Last edited by srboone; 07-15-2012 at 06:26 AM.
    "I'm a vegan. "

    ---Kirby Bliss Blanton , The Green Inferno (2013)

  14. #54
    Senior Member 2nd Rubber Room Confinement peteOcha's Avatar
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    Going off of the BW+Squire ending:

    Epilogue:

    Sarge switched off the camera. "Well, it seems like the first step was a success. Just as They had hoped." He walked up to the corpse of his fellow soldier and slipped something in his mouth. "See you soon, buddy, real soon... Now They need as more than ever at the front." And with that evil grin on his face, he sat down in the living room and waited.

  15. #55
    Senior Member Involuntarily Committed HorrorScribe's Avatar
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    The one piece that sarge didn't know, however, was that They'd manipulated this entire encounter. Though They allowed some free will to seep into the proceedings, for the most part, They'd utilized Their puppets for the sole purpose of pure entertainment. Existence had become much too droll on the other side.
    "Do or do not. There is no try." - Yoda

  16. #56
    Senior Member Ok, I really can't come up with anymore of these stupid things... srboone's Avatar
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    Well, I originally thought that it would last longer than a week, but the response was really great and we got a lot of good ideas. I'm gonna call an end to this story and encourage others to start another one, maybe one more focused and clearly defined (I'll be the first to admit that this first one was pretty disorganized.) Again, thanks to those to all readers and contibutors.
    Last edited by srboone; 07-16-2012 at 04:59 AM.
    "I'm a vegan. "

    ---Kirby Bliss Blanton , The Green Inferno (2013)

  17. #57
    Senior Member 2nd Rubber Room Confinement peteOcha's Avatar
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    I wouldn't say it was disorganized. It was simple - write one line, then someone else rights one line - and fun!

  18. #58
    Senior Member 1st Electroshock Session TerryE's Avatar
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    Okay, I'm going to throw it out that I have an idea/opening for our next attempt. Do you guys think I should wait until this one is completely finished before we move on?
    "Dance until your feet hurt. Sing until your lungs hurt. Act until you're William Hurt." - Phil Dunphy ("Modern Family"), from Phil's-osophy.

  19. #59
    Senior Member Ok, I really can't come up with anymore of these stupid things... srboone's Avatar
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    That's up to you. You certainly can. I want to keep the ball rolling on this one, so that's where my focus will be. My creative juices are starting to seep out. I haven't even attempted to write anything for more than 20 years, so I'm kinda rarin' to go.
    "I'm a vegan. "

    ---Kirby Bliss Blanton , The Green Inferno (2013)

  20. #60
    Senior Member Inmate Xiabei's Avatar
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    Another would definitely be good. If there's a time limit, perhaps we could know before we start? It seems like the story could have gone many ways, but knowing the time frame at the start may help with the "disorganization" and direction of the story.

    And I'd be happy to help with compiling and editing the entries. I hate typos and misspellings. :-)

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