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Thread: LET'S WRITE A STORY!

  1. #21
    Senior Member 2nd Rubber Room Confinement Teriw's Avatar
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    FYI there seems to have been a change of tense at some point.

    Moderator edit: Right you are Teri, but this is a first draft and it's all in fun.

    What Has Gone Before:

    UNTITLED
    by the CD forum members

    NOTE: I edited my openning of the story slightly; I did this because I though it might provide a little more guidance for this story.

    It was a brutal summer. Even at 11 am, it was so hot your clothes clung to your body in unnatural ways and every movement made them constrict more. By the afternoon, it would be unbearable. Again. I tapped a cheap 100 out of the pack on the fireplace mantle, lit it, and inhaled deeply.

    So much for going cold turkey.

    When the knock came and I found an air conditioner salesman on my door step, I didn't hesitate to let him in. He had a bit of trouble with the huge box he was holding, so I helped him carry it to the kitchen table. He said, "In this box is exactly the kind of thing you need to help you stay cool.Now this is no ordinary air cooler mind you. In fact, it is not even an air cooler at all! Help me unwrap it and you shall see for yourself."

    Intrigued, I grabbed a knife from the counter to slit the tape on the box. "Careful, now", the man said, "You don't want to damage what's inside."

    The smell made me momentarily forget about my jockies that were slowly migrating annoyingly northward and I traced a thin red line on my left hand. Grunting, I finished slicing off the tape and turned back one flap. The first thing I noticed was the greasy fur. The second thing I noticed was the sound, it was like nothing I had heard before. I momentarily froze and that is when I saw the grin on the face of the salesman.

    Still smiling, the salesman said, "You recognize her, don't you? You see we have been watching you for a long time.We know how much you enjoy the torture game."

    That I had been found out and others knew about me shocked me as much as seeing my first victim still alive.Well barely.

    "W-what..." I stuttered, taking a step back. "How did you find this?"

    "It doesn't matter how we found her not this because she is still alive and looks somewhat human.All you need to do is answer the question.Will you join us or do you end up making what is in the box look like a super model."

    The intial shock having worn off, I slowly worked my fingers into the mat of hair protruding from the box and carefully tilted it upward. Whoever she was, modelling was not in her future. "This one isn't mine," I said.

    "Oh, but she is," he replied. "There have been certain...altercations."
    "I think you mean alterations. No, sir. Since you two first met, there have been a lot of altercations."

    I tried to swallow but my throat was too dry. What does all of this mean, I thought to myself.

    I tried to think of something to say. Something that might buy me some time to figure out a way out of this situation. However knowing that this was my first ,and lets face it guys we never forget our first my curiosity was up.

    "Just one more question. How is this supposed to keep me cooler?"

    "Metaphorical, actually," the salesman replied; and for the first time I noticed the strange marking on the webbing between his thumb and pointer finger on his left hand. "You seem to have curtailed your activities as lof late. And we need people who have cold hearts."

    I am now beginning to panic, and am thinking about using the knife I used to open the box on this mysterious "salesman".

    Just as the thought comes to me the salesman says"Do not even think about using that knife on me.You see I know all your most intimate thoughts and I know you have been wanting to get back inthe game.So here is your chance to do something you love and heat up that cold bitter heart of yours.What do you say Dr."

    Dr. so this guy does know what he is talking about.That kind of excited me.

    "I can see it in your eyes, you are ready to get back to work." This man seems to know what I am thinking before I do. If I am to get out of this I will need to stop his ability to read me so well. Do I want to get out of this?
    Last edited by srboone; 07-12-2012 at 04:30 AM.

  2. #22
    Senior Member 1st Electroshock Session TerryE's Avatar
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    Yes, at least out of this conversation. But just thinking about my... "unauthorized surgeries" is bringing back all the old urges.
    "Dance until your feet hurt. Sing until your lungs hurt. Act until you're William Hurt." - Phil Dunphy ("Modern Family"), from Phil's-osophy.

  3. #23
    Senior Member 2nd Rubber Room Confinement peteOcha's Avatar
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    And in a flash, like lightning lighting up a darkened sky, I thrust the knife into the cardboard box...

  4. #24
    Moderator Involuntarily Committed Antmusic's Avatar
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    The box easily yields to my knife as I slice down the sides and let the true nature of my new gift be fully revealed...

  5. #25
    Senior Member 1st Electroshock Session TerryE's Avatar
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    As the box shakes, her eyes snap open, the beautiful terror glowing. It is the same woman. But as my devilish new companion said, there were obviously a lot of altercations, and alterations, in her existence since I left her floating in Taggert Swamp, fourteen months ago.
    "Dance until your feet hurt. Sing until your lungs hurt. Act until you're William Hurt." - Phil Dunphy ("Modern Family"), from Phil's-osophy.

  6. #26
    Senior Member Involuntarily Committed HorrorScribe's Avatar
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    If I remember right, her physical beauty was not what originally captured my interest back then, no. Instead, what I sensed deep within her mottled soul intrigued me such that...
    "Do or do not. There is no try." - Yoda

  7. #27
    Senior Member Involuntarily Committed calason's Avatar
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    I had to capture her essence. She stirred feelings in the darkest, innermost parts of my heart that I hadn't felt in years. My abilities would allow me....
    -Chris Lason-

    nerd alert
    gamertag : calason

  8. #28
    Senior Member 1st Electroshock Session TerryE's Avatar
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    to at least glimpse what was inside of her, even if I could not keep it for myself. I took her, drugged her, and made my cuttings, only to find she was as ordinary as anyone else inside. Maybe she deserved better, but in my frustration and disappointment...
    "Dance until your feet hurt. Sing until your lungs hurt. Act until you're William Hurt." - Phil Dunphy ("Modern Family"), from Phil's-osophy.

  9. #29
    Senior Member Ok, I really can't come up with anymore of these stupid things... srboone's Avatar
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    I felt the stirrings of my ruined manhood. Finally. Somewhere out there was someone so unique that the few exquite moments moments I would have inside her would bring back what had been taken from me in the war. I knew...
    "I'm a vegan. "

    ---Kirby Bliss Blanton , The Green Inferno (2013)

  10. #30
    Senior Member Jeez! Don't you have anything better to do with your time? bookworm 1's Avatar
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    I would not be able to control myself.I struggled with the hurt and the wanting to hurt.Finally I could take it no longer I grab her by the hair and......

  11. #31
    Senior Member 2nd Rubber Room Confinement peteOcha's Avatar
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    ...and stripped her of the greasy fur coat she was wearing. Why such an ugly garment had been chosen to cover her beautiful body was beyond my comprehension.

  12. #32
    Senior Member 1st Electroshock Session TerryE's Avatar
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    Her body had been beautiful when I met her last year. And the cuts I made were clean, surgical. I'd left her in a swamp, to die and I'm sure there must have been infections, but this... this thing before me now...
    "Dance until your feet hurt. Sing until your lungs hurt. Act until you're William Hurt." - Phil Dunphy ("Modern Family"), from Phil's-osophy.

  13. #33
    Senior Member 2nd Rubber Room Confinement peteOcha's Avatar
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    ...took my breath away. The cuts I had made on her before were ripe red in color, almost as if I had just made them yesterday. There were no scabs, nothing that took away from the beauty of my work.

  14. #34
    Senior Member Involuntarily Committed HorrorScribe's Avatar
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    "Thank you," I whispered to my visitor. "You have shown me the path to my salvation. I can now continue to...
    "Do or do not. There is no try." - Yoda

  15. #35
    Senior Member 2nd Rubber Room Confinement peteOcha's Avatar
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    ...heal myself. The war... it changed me. But when I cut, each piece of flesh that falls to the floor is like a piece of me, of my sanity, coming back together again."

  16. #36
    Senior Member Ok, I really can't come up with anymore of these stupid things... srboone's Avatar
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    SIDENOTE: This is getting really demented guys.I love it!

    I took a last inhale from my cigarette and butted it in the overflowing ash tray, tilting my head as the smoke coursed through is soothing way through my lungs and out my nostrils. From the breast pocket of the workshirt I'd slept in...again, I removed a sweat-stained roll of Black Gold, fired up and toaked.

    "Thank you," I wheezed again, passing him the joint.
    Last edited by srboone; 07-12-2012 at 08:47 PM.
    "I'm a vegan. "

    ---Kirby Bliss Blanton , The Green Inferno (2013)

  17. #37
    Moderator Involuntarily Committed Antmusic's Avatar
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    "No thank you, I'm on the clock." The delivery man gave me a crooked smile and produced a tiny digital video recorder. "Mind if I film? They want to see your work."

  18. #38
    Senior Member 1st Electroshock Session TerryE's Avatar
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    "I thought you knew my work."
    "Oh, I know everything about you. But They don't."
    "Dance until your feet hurt. Sing until your lungs hurt. Act until you're William Hurt." - Phil Dunphy ("Modern Family"), from Phil's-osophy.

  19. #39
    Senior Member 2nd Rubber Room Confinement peteOcha's Avatar
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    Intrigued, I decided that I would let him film.

  20. #40
    Senior Member Jeez! Don't you have anything better to do with your time? bookworm 1's Avatar
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    With an unrelenting joy in my heart,ajoy I had not felt in months,I grabbed the knife smiled at the camera and.........

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