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Tips on how to be a normal, well adjusted human being

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    Tips on how to be a normal, well adjusted human being

    We receive and respond to hundreds of emails from customers every day -- and 99% of our customers are the nicest people you could hope to meet, even if something hasn't gone as planned. (Book is delayed, shipment is crushed by UPS, glitch on the website, etc.)

    But that other 1% of the emails we get just make you want to walk away from the job some days. They're mean, nasty, and belligerent -- usually over the smallest of problems. These people just go full nuclear from the first email, without even trying to be nice or calm, or failing that, not insane.

    Something I've noticed is that these people who are insanely angry always seem to be brand new customers. In my experience, our regular customers are almost universally wonderful people. I suspect they give generously to charity and help the elderly cross the street. I wouldn't be surprised to learn our regular customers read to orphans and spend their evenings volunteering in soup kitchens. This post is not meant for them.

    Today's tip on how to be a normal, well adjusted human being:

    If you entered your mailing address wrong on your order, please do not blame Mindy or yell at her because of your mistake. Just say something like, "Oops, how do we fix this?" and Mindy will happily help you. Continuing to yell at her is not the way a normal, well adjusted human being deals with discovering he's made a little error. Yelling and stomping your feet is how a 5 year old handles things. If this is how you react to your $15 purchase being shipped to the wrong place because you entered your address wrong, I am seriously worried about your friends, family, and everyone else you interact with on a daily basis.

    Brian
    Brian James Freeman
    brianfreeman@cemeterydance.com

    Cemetery Dance Publications: http://www.cemeterydance.com
    Lonely Road Books: http://www.lonelyroadbooks.com
    LetterPress Publications: http://www.LetterPressPublications.com
    My Writing: http://www.BrianJamesFreeman.com

    #2
    Way to go, Brian! Fight the vocal, and generally unpleasant 1%! Don't allow yourself to be occupied!

    Actually, I have found that there is a small percentage of people who cannot ("will not" is more approriate) be satified, no matter what shape you bend your back into to try to please them. If The Malicious Malcontent makes up only 1% of CD's clientele, then that is a testement to to your customer service, which I have always found outstanding!
    "I'm a vegan. "

    ---Kirby Bliss Blanton , The Green Inferno (2013)

    Comment


      #3
      Originally posted by srboone View Post
      Way to go, Brian! Fight the vocal, and generally unpleasant 1%! Don't allow yourself to be occupied!
      ha! Yes, that was the first thing I thought of when I wrote those numbers, but it's a pretty accurate percentage so I just let it go, knowing someone would have to make an occupy joke!

      Brian
      Brian James Freeman
      brianfreeman@cemeterydance.com

      Cemetery Dance Publications: http://www.cemeterydance.com
      Lonely Road Books: http://www.lonelyroadbooks.com
      LetterPress Publications: http://www.LetterPressPublications.com
      My Writing: http://www.BrianJamesFreeman.com

      Comment


        #4
        Imagine my surprise as I am just getting back from reading to small orphans about how to make soup out of the elderly that cross the street in front of you to find this thread. Brian, some people are just a**holes period who feel "tough" sending nasty emails from their mom's basement. You know you're all doing a great job. We know you're all doing a great job. Don't let the bastards get you down!!!!

        And of course, Mindy ROCKS!!! Mindy ROCKS!!! Mindy ROCKS!!! Mindy ROCKS!!! Mindy ROCKS!!! Mindy ROCKS!!!

        Comment


          #5
          Originally posted by bsaenz24 View Post
          Imagine my surprise as I am just getting back from reading to small orphans about how to make soup out of the elderly that cross the street in front of you to find this thread.
          HA!
          Brian James Freeman
          brianfreeman@cemeterydance.com

          Cemetery Dance Publications: http://www.cemeterydance.com
          Lonely Road Books: http://www.lonelyroadbooks.com
          LetterPress Publications: http://www.LetterPressPublications.com
          My Writing: http://www.BrianJamesFreeman.com

          Comment


            #6
            Originally posted by Brian Freeman View Post
            .....someone would have to make an occupy joke!

            Brian
            I offer the same plea Stephen King made in his Afterword to Cycle of the Werewolf. He notes that serious moon-watchers will know that he has taken liberties with the phases (mostly to take advantage of holidays within a given month):

            "To those readers who feel that I didn't know any better, I assert that I did...but the temptation was too great to resist."

            I pulled this book out for the first time in years and noticed that my Plume trade pb is a first printing. Cool!
            "I'm a vegan. "

            ---Kirby Bliss Blanton , The Green Inferno (2013)

            Comment


              #7
              Completely agree ! And that post pops up the same day I also have to handle one big customer at work that probably will win the PITAYA (PITA yearly award (tm)). I wish all customers were like me
              Jokes asaide keep up with the great work guys ! and girls of course !

              Comment


                #8
                Here is an idea.only answer 99% of the e-mail.Then you won't have to deal with the 1%.

                Comment


                  #9
                  Originally posted by bookworm 1 View Post
                  Here is an idea.only answer 99% of the e-mail.Then you won't have to deal with the 1%.
                  If only we could do that! We try to resolve any problem or question or concern, even if the person starts the conversation by using more profanities than a Quentin Tarantino films.

                  Brian
                  Brian James Freeman
                  brianfreeman@cemeterydance.com

                  Cemetery Dance Publications: http://www.cemeterydance.com
                  Lonely Road Books: http://www.lonelyroadbooks.com
                  LetterPress Publications: http://www.LetterPressPublications.com
                  My Writing: http://www.BrianJamesFreeman.com

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Yea I became a customer during the tough period when things were not going well for CD.Back in 2008.It was my first experience with the small press.I joined the 2nd
                    book club.I always thought you guys did your best to let people know what the issues were and that is why I stuck around.Unfortunately we live in an age of
                    instant gratification and some people do not want to wait or do not understand what goes into putting out a high quality product.Maybe that could be something
                    for 1 of your blog posts.Explaining the different stages you go through to get to the final product.Just a thought.I to think Mindy is great to deal with.All the people
                    at CD are.

                    Comment


                      #11
                      However,
                      Never own "Normal". I have let a few people see the "dark Side". I do at time want to move out in the middle of nowhere and raise chickens...And then eat them. The great thing about PTSD, it's almost a free pass. Well, not free really. HAHAHA!!! Keep your head up and your chin down.
                      Mike

                      Comment


                        #12
                        "If that's what you call normal, then I'd rather be insane."


                        I love CD. In all my years, I've only had 1 problem and that was fixed with a simple email.

                        Comment


                          #13
                          I mean, here's the thing: mistakes happen. We're human. We make mistakes. Mindy will go above and beyond to fix any mistake we've made or clear-up any misunderstanding. She wants every customer to be happy.

                          There are FIVE of us working at this company. We ALL want every customer to be happy because we know our regular customers like they're our friends. We don't want anyone to be unhappy with their order or the quality of a book we've published, etc.

                          And we DEFINITELY understand someone making a mistake like mistyping the numbers in their address. It happens. Who hasn't mistyped something in a hurry? So Mindy was ready to ship the customer who inspired this thread a replacement copy of what he ordered and she just needed his correct address. His response to her email about his wrong address?

                          Fuck you! Fix this! This is all your fault! I want what I ordered! I'm never ordering from you again!!
                          Brian
                          Brian James Freeman
                          brianfreeman@cemeterydance.com

                          Cemetery Dance Publications: http://www.cemeterydance.com
                          Lonely Road Books: http://www.lonelyroadbooks.com
                          LetterPress Publications: http://www.LetterPressPublications.com
                          My Writing: http://www.BrianJamesFreeman.com

                          Comment


                            #14
                            Hey Brian, maybe you guys are just taking that wrong. He might have meant in a polite informative way that would......ah, nevermind, he was just being an a**hole.

                            Comment


                              #15
                              Originally posted by bsaenz24 View Post
                              Hey Brian, maybe you guys are just taking that wrong. He might have meant in a polite informative way that would......ah, nevermind, he was just being an a**hole.
                              lol
                              Brian James Freeman
                              brianfreeman@cemeterydance.com

                              Cemetery Dance Publications: http://www.cemeterydance.com
                              Lonely Road Books: http://www.lonelyroadbooks.com
                              LetterPress Publications: http://www.LetterPressPublications.com
                              My Writing: http://www.BrianJamesFreeman.com

                              Comment

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