PDA

View Full Version : Tips on how to be a normal, well adjusted human being



Brian James Freeman
01-20-2012, 04:27 PM
We receive and respond to hundreds of emails from customers every day -- and 99% of our customers are the nicest people you could hope to meet, even if something hasn't gone as planned. (Book is delayed, shipment is crushed by UPS, glitch on the website, etc.)

But that other 1% of the emails we get just make you want to walk away from the job some days. They're mean, nasty, and belligerent -- usually over the smallest of problems. These people just go full nuclear from the first email, without even trying to be nice or calm, or failing that, not insane.

Something I've noticed is that these people who are insanely angry always seem to be brand new customers. In my experience, our regular customers are almost universally wonderful people. I suspect they give generously to charity and help the elderly cross the street. I wouldn't be surprised to learn our regular customers read to orphans and spend their evenings volunteering in soup kitchens. This post is not meant for them.

Today's tip on how to be a normal, well adjusted human being:

If you entered your mailing address wrong on your order, please do not blame Mindy or yell at her because of your mistake. Just say something like, "Oops, how do we fix this?" and Mindy will happily help you. Continuing to yell at her is not the way a normal, well adjusted human being deals with discovering he's made a little error. Yelling and stomping your feet is how a 5 year old handles things. If this is how you react to your $15 purchase being shipped to the wrong place because you entered your address wrong, I am seriously worried about your friends, family, and everyone else you interact with on a daily basis.

Brian

srboone
01-20-2012, 05:39 PM
Way to go, Brian! Fight the vocal, and generally unpleasant 1%! Don't allow yourself to be occupied!;)

Actually, I have found that there is a small percentage of people who cannot ("will not" is more approriate) be satified, no matter what shape you bend your back into to try to please them. If The Malicious Malcontent makes up only 1% of CD's clientele, then that is a testement to to your customer service, which I have always found outstanding!:cool:

Brian James Freeman
01-20-2012, 05:47 PM
Way to go, Brian! Fight the vocal, and generally unpleasant 1%! Don't allow yourself to be occupied!;)


ha! Yes, that was the first thing I thought of when I wrote those numbers, but it's a pretty accurate percentage so I just let it go, knowing someone would have to make an occupy joke! ;)

Brian

bsaenz24
01-20-2012, 06:07 PM
Imagine my surprise as I am just getting back from reading to small orphans about how to make soup out of the elderly that cross the street in front of you to find this thread. Brian, some people are just a**holes period who feel "tough" sending nasty emails from their mom's basement. You know you're all doing a great job. We know you're all doing a great job. Don't let the bastards get you down!!!!

And of course, Mindy ROCKS!!! Mindy ROCKS!!! Mindy ROCKS!!! Mindy ROCKS!!! Mindy ROCKS!!! Mindy ROCKS!!!

Brian James Freeman
01-20-2012, 06:09 PM
Imagine my surprise as I am just getting back from reading to small orphans about how to make soup out of the elderly that cross the street in front of you to find this thread.

HA!

srboone
01-20-2012, 06:16 PM
.....someone would have to make an occupy joke! ;)

Brian

I offer the same plea Stephen King made in his Afterword to Cycle of the Werewolf. He notes that serious moon-watchers will know that he has taken liberties with the phases (mostly to take advantage of holidays within a given month):

"To those readers who feel that I didn't know any better, I assert that I did...but the temptation was too great to resist."

I pulled this book out for the first time in years and noticed that my Plume trade pb is a first printing. Cool!

th3l0rd
01-20-2012, 06:46 PM
Completely agree ! And that post pops up the same day I also have to handle one big customer at work that probably will win the PITAYA (PITA yearly award (tm)). I wish all customers were like me :p
Jokes asaide keep up with the great work guys ! and girls of course !

bookworm 1
01-20-2012, 06:52 PM
Here is an idea.only answer 99% of the e-mail.Then you won't have to deal with the 1%.

Brian James Freeman
01-20-2012, 07:02 PM
Here is an idea.only answer 99% of the e-mail.Then you won't have to deal with the 1%.

If only we could do that! :) We try to resolve any problem or question or concern, even if the person starts the conversation by using more profanities than a Quentin Tarantino films. ;)

Brian

bookworm 1
01-20-2012, 07:12 PM
Yea I became a customer during the tough period when things were not going well for CD.Back in 2008.It was my first experience with the small press.I joined the 2nd
book club.I always thought you guys did your best to let people know what the issues were and that is why I stuck around.Unfortunately we live in an age of
instant gratification and some people do not want to wait or do not understand what goes into putting out a high quality product.Maybe that could be something
for 1 of your blog posts.Explaining the different stages you go through to get to the final product.Just a thought.I to think Mindy is great to deal with.All the people
at CD are.

mhatchett
01-20-2012, 07:29 PM
However,
Never own "Normal". I have let a few people see the "dark Side". I do at time want to move out in the middle of nowhere and raise chickens...And then eat them. The great thing about PTSD, it's almost a free pass. Well, not free really. HAHAHA!!! Keep your head up and your chin down.
Mike

jester05jk
01-21-2012, 04:17 AM
"If that's what you call normal, then I'd rather be insane."


I love CD. In all my years, I've only had 1 problem and that was fixed with a simple email.

Brian James Freeman
01-21-2012, 01:31 PM
I mean, here's the thing: mistakes happen. We're human. We make mistakes. Mindy will go above and beyond to fix any mistake we've made or clear-up any misunderstanding. She wants every customer to be happy.

There are FIVE of us working at this company. We ALL want every customer to be happy because we know our regular customers like they're our friends. We don't want anyone to be unhappy with their order or the quality of a book we've published, etc.

And we DEFINITELY understand someone making a mistake like mistyping the numbers in their address. It happens. Who hasn't mistyped something in a hurry? So Mindy was ready to ship the customer who inspired this thread a replacement copy of what he ordered and she just needed his correct address. His response to her email about his wrong address?


Fuck you! Fix this! This is all your fault! I want what I ordered! I'm never ordering from you again!!

Brian

bsaenz24
01-21-2012, 02:16 PM
Hey Brian, maybe you guys are just taking that wrong. He might have meant in a polite informative way that would......ah, nevermind, he was just being an a**hole.

Brian James Freeman
01-21-2012, 02:32 PM
Hey Brian, maybe you guys are just taking that wrong. He might have meant in a polite informative way that would......ah, nevermind, he was just being an a**hole.

lol

ozmosis7
01-21-2012, 02:44 PM
His response to her email about his wrong address?

Having prided myself on not being "normal" for many years, perhaps this is written in some strange other-worldly language. Maybe on their planet it translates to, "Thank you kindly! You're the greatest! I can't believe I made that mistake! Hopefully you can fix it for me! I can't wait to order from you again!!" You know, like Bizarro world speech.

peteOcha
01-21-2012, 07:36 PM
http://gifs.gifbin.com/062010/1277378257_supporter-rage.gif

"Now!! Now!! Ship my fucking book now!!!" :D

Sheesh.... some people. At least their insanity is good for some laughs. ;)

srboone
01-21-2012, 07:44 PM
Ok, Pete, but the overseas costs are on you, man!:rolleyes:

Ron K
01-22-2012, 12:06 AM
People are so sad sometimes, mostly because sucky people helped them to a sucky life when they were young or here recently. It's always jarring to see that directed at an innocent bystander in a situation that so clearly runs contrary to anything even remotely tied to the reality of the situation at hand. Worse, it's almost impossible to see that for what it is ..instead of what it feels like - the verbal equivalent of a swinging baseball bat. Pray for them personally and professionally refuse to serve them after giving a refund. Life is too short and you deserve to betreated with dignity. I hope their life gets better in a very real way. Thank God life has not added up to being that kind of person for most of us.

Grant Wootton
01-22-2012, 03:55 AM
I mean, here's the thing: mistakes happen. We're human. We make mistakes. Mindy will go above and beyond to fix any mistake we've made or clear-up any misunderstanding. She wants every customer to be happy.

There are FIVE of us working at this company. We ALL want every customer to be happy because we know our regular customers like they're our friends. We don't want anyone to be unhappy with their order or the quality of a book we've published, etc.

And we DEFINITELY understand someone making a mistake like mistyping the numbers in their address. It happens. Who hasn't mistyped something in a hurry? So Mindy was ready to ship the customer who inspired this thread a replacement copy of what he ordered and she just needed his correct address. His response to her email about his wrong address?



Brian

Well spoken cuss ain't he ?? Such precise elocution, such a well rounded vocabulary, is rare in this day and age. Such succinctity in their turn of phrase - even rarer. Such forethought and obvious investment of time and effort to arrive at such a sparkling and witty riposte - absolute gold. It takes much time and effort to be a complete phuck-knuckle, thus, this individual should be soundly praised for their higher than average level of knucklery !!!

jester05jk
01-22-2012, 04:33 AM
I like the overuse of exclamation points. Apparently it's the only acceptable punctuation to be used anymore. I forgot, "!!!"

TerryE
01-23-2012, 02:50 PM
I've only had one issue with you guys, and again Mindy fixed it immediately and kindly. I think I become most impressed with your company about 6 years ago. I was attending the Borderlands Press workshop in downtown Baltimore and Kelly Laymon (who was working with/for you at the time) was there on the opening night. I introduced myself and said how much I liked Cemetery Dance and she knew exactly who I was, recognizing my name and knowing my stuff was sent to my P.O. Box. I never would have expected to be known by name alone from any other company I deal with.

Brian James Freeman
01-23-2012, 06:29 PM
I like the overuse of exclamation points. Apparently it's the only acceptable punctuation to be used anymore. I forgot, "!!!"

I know!! (!)

:)

bsaenz24
01-23-2012, 06:36 PM
Brian,

Just to torment the staff at CD, after every email you receive from the type of customer who inspired this thread, I think you need to hang up a poster of the following graphic in the office for three days. ;)

2826

Yes, I am kidding!

Brian James Freeman
01-23-2012, 06:49 PM
Obviously, whenever you work in or around customer service, this sort of thing is part of the job, but I'm always a little surprised because it's just not how I like to handle those situations when I'm the customer -- and in my experience it usually doesn't get the best results, either.

We've ALL had a situation where we've had to call on customer service to fix a problem, and in my experience the people who work those jobs respond really well to a customer who is polite. They get yelled at so much for things that aren't their fault that they want to go the extra mile for the customer who says, "I know this isn't your fault, but can you help me get it fixed?"

Of course, some companies won't let their customer service people go the extra mile, but that's when you have to kick things up the chain of command. Yelling at the guy or girl who answers the phone doesn't help you out and it just piles some crap on them. Again, at least in my experience.

Luckily, like I said, 99% of our customers are awesome and here for the long-term, so I just remember that when someone is yelling at me or Mindy because they weren't treated special enough (which is today's angry emailer of the day!).

Brian

bsaenz24
01-23-2012, 06:51 PM
Ok, so is that a no on my poster idea? :rolleyes:

srboone
01-23-2012, 06:57 PM
Maybe a thread for your customer service nightmares (ommitting names and addresses of course) would be amusing here, Brian. Just to show people some of the things you have to put up with. I'd enjoy it! Maybe just a twice-a-week thing.

bsaenz24
01-23-2012, 07:03 PM
They can be posted by a new board member: Frian Breeman. Nobody will even know....

peteOcha
01-23-2012, 08:57 PM
I fully support Squire's idea!

I'd love to read all the hate mail you got from Brad after that one thread... :D

Dan Hocker
01-23-2012, 09:01 PM
Brian,

Just to torment the staff at CD, after every email you receive from the type of customer who inspired this thread, I think you need to hang up a poster of the following graphic in the office for three days. ;)

2826

Yes, I am kidding!

We would never be able to take it down.... lol

mhatchett
01-23-2012, 10:38 PM
These are some of the worst F-in ideas I've ever heard!!!!!!!! Except the Poster. I like that!!!!! HAHAHHAA!!!!!!!!!!
Mike

Grant Wootton
01-24-2012, 09:28 AM
I reckon a Wall of Shame is an awesome idea (then again, I had a little dust up with Mindy shortly after I came on board with CD - long since forgiven and forgotten - so maybe not such a grand idea after all) .. Nope, go with the poster !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :p

Brian James Freeman
01-24-2012, 12:39 PM
I reckon a Wall of Shame is an awesome idea (then again, I had a little dust up with Mindy shortly after I came on board with CD - long since forgiven and forgotten - so maybe not such a grand idea after all) .. Nope, go with the poster !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :p

Well, that little dust up came over a misunderstanding and was totally not a big deal at all to clear-up! Plus, look how well things turned out! :)

Brian

njhorror
01-24-2012, 05:49 PM
"Tips on how to be a normal, well adjusted human being"





not a clue. Try again?

peteOcha
01-24-2012, 06:39 PM
Grant's hate mail! C'mon, let's see it!!

What did you do, threaten Mindy that you'd send killer mutant mosquitoes after her?? :D

Grant Wootton
01-24-2012, 09:43 PM
Grant's hate mail! C'mon, let's see it!!

What did you do, threaten Mindy that you'd send killer mutant mosquitoes after her?? :D

Nah, it was a storm in a tea cup, and, nope, no mossies, drop bears, crocs, red roo's etc were ever considered as tools of vengence :) And, as Brian mentioned, it's all turned out just swimmingly :cool:

Hedda Gabler
01-28-2012, 08:24 PM
Hi everyone. I'm new here, lurking for quite a while. A very long time customer of Cemetery Dance.

I just wanted to throw my support out there for the people at Cemetery Dance. I have nothing but good things to say about each and every staff member I've had the pleasure of dealing with. There have been times when things haven't gotten out in a timely matter, but I never ever once lost faith in the company. I knew things were going on behind the scenes that were beyond anyone's control, and I also knew that, in time, things would get back on track.

Cemetery Dance and all the guys and gals there have been very, very kind to me over the years and I absolutely adore the quality books I receive from them. I just wish I had more money to give them. God I love books!

So, thank you everyone at Cemetery Dance. We all need to learn and practice the old saying, Treat people the way you would want to be treated. Would you want someone f'ing all over you? I don't THINK so. So don't be f'ing all over Mindy, or anyone else!

Thanks.

Hedda Gabler
01-29-2012, 03:23 PM
Hi, new here. I just have a question. Is this a moderated board? I posted a comment here and it got lost somewhere. Unless it's in that dead space that some posts float in until a new post pushes it into view. I'll keep trying.

Dan Hocker
01-29-2012, 05:21 PM
Hi, new here. I just have a question. Is this a moderated board? I posted a comment here and it got lost somewhere. Unless it's in that dead space that some posts float in until a new post pushes it into view. I'll keep trying.

Yep, everyone's first 5 posts on this board are moderated. This lets me filter out all the spam. You should be outside the moderation zone now, as I'm showing you as having 6 posts.

Hedda Gabler
01-29-2012, 08:39 PM
Understandable. I'm in like Flynn now.:)

Grant Wootton
01-29-2012, 09:46 PM
Hi, new here. I just have a question. Is this a moderated board? I posted a comment here and it got lost somewhere. Unless it's in that dead space that some posts float in until a new post pushes it into view. I'll keep trying.

BTW - Welcome aboard Hedda :D

Hedda Gabler
01-29-2012, 10:17 PM
thank you

Grant Wootton
01-30-2012, 02:09 AM
Understandable. I'm in like Flynn now.:)

Lordy, you must be an Aussie (on, at the very least, speak fluent 'strine) :p

TerryE
01-30-2012, 03:44 PM
Hedda, I'll echo Grant's welcome. Always nice to see a newcomer here.

Brian James Freeman
01-30-2012, 03:58 PM
Thanks, Hedda! Very nice to see you here on the board!

Brian

Brian James Freeman
01-30-2012, 04:01 PM
By the way, this guy is STILL pissed at us because he entered his address wrong. Today he "yelled" at Mindy in an email that he wanted to talk to someone who could "actually help him."

I'm thinking a doctor of some kind is his best bet. Did I mention that this was over a $15 order that we would have been happy to re-ship to the correct address if he would just give us the address? Instead of swearing up a storm and demanding we cancel his order?

Sigh... People like this make you REALLY appreciate all of our good customers, who do easily outnumber the bad by a lot! :)

Brian

Grant Wootton
01-30-2012, 05:03 PM
He/she should take some prescription medication and have a nice, quiet lie down - mebbe in the middle of a busy road ???? :p

peteOcha
01-30-2012, 09:07 PM
"he wanted to talk to someone who could "actually help him."...

He could have just used google, but if he wants to email CD for a list of shrinks in his area, well then who's gonna stop him? :)

srboone
01-30-2012, 09:09 PM
I was gonna say, I'm sure he could find some cheap psychiatrists online who would listen to his rant. Are you the staff shead shrinker, Brian?

Brian James Freeman
01-30-2012, 09:15 PM
I was gonna say, I'm sure he could find some cheap psychiatrists online who would listen to his rant. Are you the staff shead shrinker, Brian?

HA!

I mean, I think we've all been in situations where we're really upset for one reason or another, maybe even over something "small" like a $15 order that we mistakenly had sent to the wrong address, but why take it out on the person who is trying to help you? And why still be so angry about it several days later? That just seems like a sign of a bigger problem, you know?

Brian

Hedda Gabler
01-30-2012, 10:39 PM
If this is the worst thing that will ever happen to this guy in his life, then I'd say he's pretty lucky. Perspective dude, get some.

Thanks for the welcomes and no, I'm not an Aussie. I live in these here United States.

Grant Wootton
01-31-2012, 03:56 AM
If this is the worst thing that will ever happen to this guy in his life, then I'd say he's pretty lucky. Perspective dude, get some.

Thanks for the welcomes and no, I'm not an Aussie. I live in these here United States.

Ah, I see, "In Like Flynn" is just so .... Australian sounding ... Right up there with calling someone Errol if he/she makes a lot of .... mistakes .... :p

TerryE
01-31-2012, 01:57 PM
But Errol Flynn was quite flawless. Where did that association come from?? (Errol Flynn is the only Errol I know - "How did he do such fantastic stunts... with such tiny feet" - Hedley Lamarr (Harvey Korman), "Blazing Saddles")

Grant Wootton
01-31-2012, 02:06 PM
But Errol Flynn was quite flawless. Where did that association come from?? (Errol Flynn is the only Errol I know - "How did he do such fantastic stunts... with such tiny feet" - Hedley Lamarr (Harvey Korman), "Blazing Saddles")

This one comes in two parts .. the first one is publishable (see the Wikipedia link) the other not so ...

"In Like Flynn" ---- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/In_like_Flynn

T (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/In_like_Flynn)he other one (as far as I'm aware) is distinctly Australian and relates to Flynn's apparent success with the fairer sex back in the day ... Thus, if someone screws up a lot, they're referred to as an Errol (ie- he &*^%#$ everything he touches) ... :o

TerryE
01-31-2012, 02:12 PM
And I never realized Flynn was Australian. That helps explain your fascination.

Grant Wootton
01-31-2012, 02:28 PM
And I never realized Flynn was Australian. That helps explain your fascination.

Yep, born and bred in Tasmania ... One of our bands (back in the early 80's) even wrote a song about him (see link).

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gwzNN4IMyx8

Have included the lyrics, cos the song makes bugger all sense with them :p

CONVICT STATE
IT JUST WON'T RATE
HE WANT TO GET HIGHER
APPLE ISLE, THE INBRED SMILE
HE'S GONNA GET BY'A
HIS MOTHER'S HAND
HE COULD NOT STAND
HE LEFT FOR THE ISLANDS
TO FISH AND HUNT
TO TAKE A PUNT
THE NEW GUINEA HIGHLANDS
CHORUS
OH ERROL - I WOULD GIVE
EVERYTHING, JUST TO BE LIKE HIM

HE HAD TO GO
THE SIROCCO
HE'S SAILIN' THE HIGH SEAS
HOLLYWOOD, CAPTAIN BLOOD
HE'S BILLING THE NAZI'S
TOOK A REBEL STAND
WITH THE CONTRABAND
COAST OF MEXICO
HE WANT TO POUNCE
LIKE AN ANIMAL
TO GIRLS HE JUST CAN'T SAY NO
CHORUS
HE HAD THEM ALL
SCREAMIN' FOR MORE
HE PLAY THE WILD SCENE
AH SCANDALISE, NO COMPRISE
HE'S DOWN ON HIS KNEES
SWASHBUCKING
HE WAS THE KING
THE TOAST OF TINSEL TOWN
THEY BUILD HIM UP
THEY TOOK IT ALL
AND THEY JUST CUT HIM DOWN
CHORUS

Menace
01-31-2012, 03:40 PM
HA!

I mean, I think we've all been in situations where we're really upset for one reason or another, maybe even over something "small" like a $15 order that we mistakenly had sent to the wrong address, but why take it out on the person who is trying to help you? And why still be so angry about it several days later? That just seems like a sign of a bigger problem, you know?

Brian

There are 3 possible reasons why this person is acting this way.

1 - Brain Size - small ..if he was your next door neighbor he would send his dog over to poop on your lawn.

2 - another part of his anatomy is also small ... so he is so mad at the world because of this and takes it out on everyone.

3 - 5 feet tall or less and has little man syndrome.. got a few of those at work ...they must yell and scream and act tough to make themselves seem bigger.

or if it was a woman swearing in the email it is because her husband has one of these 3 problems. :)

If I offended anyone with this reply then you must have one on the above problems and I am truley sorry.

oh and on a different note .. I changed my email address on my account do I have to let mindy know because I am not receiving any announcements anymore.

srboone
01-31-2012, 05:56 PM
I associated Hedda's statement not with Errrol Flynn, but with James Coburn.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0061810/

I assmed she just changed "Flint" to "Flynn" to make it rhyme. This is just more evidence of the "New World's" bias and prejuice against everything non-American. We think of or own contributions to the Cultural Lexicon before anybody else's. So, even though I was wrong in my assumptons, in my own fevered and diseased mind mind, I knew she COULD NOt be an Aussie. Besides, her profile said she was from the states.:)

Hedda Gabler
01-31-2012, 06:35 PM
I was going for the Flynn reference, as that's the way I learned it.

But, since you mentioned James Coburn, I'll just throw this out there for fun.

When I was a little girl, Harry in Your Pocket starring James as a pick pocket extraordinaire was on TV. He teaches two would-be scammers the intricacies of pick pocketing by hanging a suit of clothes on a clothes hanger and rigging the breast pocket (where most men kept their money wallets) with a little bell. And he had his protege practice and practice on this thing.

Well, I took a suit of my dad's, suspended it from a hanger and attached one of those bird seed bells (picked clean of the seed) to the lapel and practiced pick pocketing. Don't ask me why I chose to spend so much time doing this. I have never been, nor plan on becoming, a pick pocket. In my foggy memory, I was very successful and could have become a world renowned pick pocket as long as the gentlemen held still and paid no attention to the small child pawing at their chest.

Grant Wootton
01-31-2012, 07:22 PM
I associated Hedda's statement not with Errrol Flynn, but with James Coburn.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0061810/

I assmed she just changed "Flint" to "Flynn" to make it rhyme. This is just more evidence of the "New World's" bias and prejuice against everything non-American. We think of or own contributions to the Cultural Lexicon before anybody else's. So, even though I was wrong in my assumptons, in my own fevered and diseased mind mind, I knew she COULD NOt be an Aussie. Besides, her profile said she was from the states.:)

Mr Boone, I resent the implication that I've ever, ever, ever been "juiced" against anyone (pre, post or apple !!!) and I only have one ass, not two, although the one I have is broken !!!!! Anyways, we Australian luv our American compatriots, especially with a side serve of bacon and golden brown toast .. nom .. nom .. nom .. ;)

Grant Wootton
01-31-2012, 07:23 PM
I was going for the Flynn reference, as that's the way I learned it.

But, since you mentioned James Coburn, I'll just throw this out there for fun.

When I was a little girl, Harry in Your Pocket starring James as a pick pocket extraordinaire was on TV. He teaches two would-be scammers the intricacies of pick pocketing by hanging a suit of clothes on a clothes hanger and rigging the breast pocket (where most men kept their money wallets) with a little bell. And he had his protege practice and practice on this thing.

Well, I took a suit of my dad's, suspended it from a hanger and attached one of those bird seed bells (picked clean of the seed) to the lapel and practiced pick pocketing. Don't ask me why I chose to spend so much time doing this. I have never been, nor plan on becoming, a pick pocket. In my foggy memory, I was very successful and could have become a world renowned pick pocket as long as the gentlemen held still and paid no attention to the small child pawing at their chest.

Love that story Hedda - in another place and time you could have been Fagin :cool:

TerryE
01-31-2012, 08:15 PM
And there goes any plans on inviting Hedda anywhere that we'll be wearing our suits, carrying our wallets up front.

Hedda Gabler
01-31-2012, 09:10 PM
I promise I'll keep my hands to myself.

Brian James Freeman
03-07-2012, 07:34 PM
So how would you respond to this? I bolded what I thought was the most important part:


I am writing this to Brian Freeman at Lonely Road Books and NOT Brian Freeman at Cemetery Dance.
I am still waiting for my copy of The Strain.
I did email someone at Lonely Road Books and it was passed on to Mindy at Cemetery Dance!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Mindy said my CC was declined.
I have yet to receive my copy. Matter of fact I do not yet have a shipping notice.
I worked on and off in the Publishing industry for over 20 years.
I am surprised at how badly Cemetery Dance is run. Because of my experiences with you and Cemetery Dance concerning The Strain I fear I may never see the books that I have already bought and paid for. Someone told me that is where they get some of their grab bags from or how some books amazingly appear in their warehouse. Is the warehouse really that inept?
Why does the rest of the world have their copy and not me?
I have been a lifetime customer of Cemetery Dance and your records will show that I have been a pretty good customer for Lonely Road Books.
Why am I treated like this.
I paid for the book when you first announced it.
Most places charge shipping right off the bat.
Even a lot of my Cemetery Dance orders over the years the shipping was charged immediately.
If for some reason shipping was not initially charged then please please inform the customer.

Please send me an email today saying that the book has shipped and that it will arrive very very soon.

Can anyone else figure out what the problem might be? :sigh:

peteOcha
03-07-2012, 07:38 PM
Brian, its simple!

First, write out each sentence on a separate piece of paper.
Next, throw them in the air and watch them land on the floor.
Finally, pick up pieces at random to solve the puzzle!

:)

Robert Fulman
03-07-2012, 07:38 PM
I also haven't received a copy of the Strain :(

Brian James Freeman
03-07-2012, 07:40 PM
brian, its simple!

First, write out each sentence on a separate piece of paper.
Next, throw them in the air and watch them land on the floor.
Finally, pick up pieces at random to solve the puzzle!

:)

lol!

Brian James Freeman
03-07-2012, 07:40 PM
I also haven't received a copy of the Strain :(

Email Mindy if you ordered through Cemetery Dance and she'll help you out! (Or email me, always happy to help, too!)

peteOcha
03-07-2012, 07:42 PM
Hmm, but seriously now...

Seems to be a shipping problem, as in he thought he had shipping paid, but then you asked him to pay for shipping because he didn't pay yet (in reference to those few lines about shipping...)

But then at the beginning he's sayin his CC was declined so...

I don't know, makes no sense really! Oh, and it seems he thinks there are two Brian Freemans i guess. You should mess with him and write back as Morgan Freeman... :D

Robert Fulman
03-07-2012, 07:43 PM
I hate it when my attempts at humor are thwarted by good customer service. (The fact that I didn't order the book probably explains why I haven't received it.)

srboone
03-07-2012, 07:44 PM
I haven't received mine, either.

Of course, I foolishly did not order it on either of the two chances i had.....

peteOcha
03-07-2012, 07:45 PM
LOL, good one Mike! :)

Brian James Freeman
03-07-2012, 07:47 PM
I hate it when my attempts at humor are thwarted by good customer service. (The fact that I didn't order the book probably explains why I haven't received it.)

Your lack of an order is still no excuse for such slow shipping! Dan, get in here and fix this pronto!

:)

Brian James Freeman
03-07-2012, 07:48 PM
You should mess with him and write back as Morgan Freeman... :D

I kind of wish my computer could read my emails to me in Morgan Freeman's voice. That would be very soothing.

Brian

TerryE
03-07-2012, 07:51 PM
Brian, I think the point is that he gave you a cc #. Even if it was declined he should still get his book. After all, just having that piece of plastic is all that matters in a business transaction.

srboone
03-07-2012, 07:52 PM
So how would you respond to this? I bolded what I thought was the most important part:



Can anyone else figure out what the problem might be? :sigh:

It seems that this customer ordered the Strain and his cc was charged for the book but not shipping; when the book was ready to be shipped, his cc declined for the cost of shipping; it doesn't say that he was notified at all, but that seems to be the problem; on top of the fact that he's been a CD customer for years and hasn't figured out that CD BF and LRB BF are the same person. (That means he has bigger issues in life, I think.)

peteOcha
03-07-2012, 07:58 PM
Well, you can always like it on facebook, http://www.facebook.com/pages/Morgan-Freemans-Voice/50164658116, maybe they'll make an app. :)

Dan Hocker
03-07-2012, 08:01 PM
Your lack of an order is still no excuse for such slow shipping! Dan, get in here and fix this pronto!

:)

Didn't you know, he ordered the super special invisible edition. I'm sure it arrived and he just can't see it....

bsaenz24
03-07-2012, 08:02 PM
I kind of wish my computer could read my emails to me in Morgan Freeman's voice. That would be very soothing.

Brian

If I may suggest....you should call the customer directly, don't talk and only reply by clicking one of these fine helpful customer-friendly sound bites.


http://www.realmofdarkness.net/pc/sb/samuel/1

Brian James Freeman
03-07-2012, 08:05 PM
It seems that this customer ordered the Strain and his cc was charged for the book but not shipping; when the book was ready to be shipped, his cc declined for the cost of shipping; it doesn't say that he was notified at all, but that seems to be the problem; on top of the fact that he's been a CD customer for years and hasn't figured out that CD BF and LRB BF are the same person. (That means he has bigger issues in life, I think.)

Yep, Mindy was just telling me that she's already gone back and forth several times with him. Here was his reply when I told him he really needed to speak with Mindy because she handles all of the payments:


The CC was accepted!!!!!!!!!
Please ship my copy

Well, your bank says otherwise, but you seem so nice that I'll just trust you this one... ;)

Everyone in this thread knows that Mindy and I (and Kate and Dan and anyone else here who ever answers an email to a customer) really, really, really wants our customers to be happy. So this sort of email exchange is really problematic because we can't seem to explain what the problem is to him without him flying off the handle. :sigh:

peteOcha
03-07-2012, 08:13 PM
Wait, wait, wait, you trust people because they're nice??!! Well, Brian have you been working out lately? Is that I six pack I see?

Now please ship me a copy of IT! ;)

Brian James Freeman
03-07-2012, 08:17 PM
Wait, wait, wait, you trust people because they're nice??!! Well, Brian have you been working out lately? Is that I six pack I see?

Now please ship me a copy of IT! ;)

lol

Martin
03-07-2012, 08:19 PM
I think he should contact Brain James Freeman. That guy tells pretty good stories!

bsaenz24
03-07-2012, 08:25 PM
I think he should contact Brain James Freeman. That guy tells pretty good stories!

Which Brian James Freeman? The one from CD or the one from LRB? :cool:

Brian James Freeman
03-07-2012, 08:30 PM
Which Brian James Freeman? The one from CD or the one from LRB? :cool:

lol

srboone
03-07-2012, 08:31 PM
Shit! There's two Freemans (Freemen?) and LRB AND CD?

Dan Hocker
03-07-2012, 08:33 PM
Shit! There's two Freemans (Freemen?) and LRB AND CD?

Technically there's another one that stole the name. Except he's Brian Freeman, not Brian James Freeman.

TerryE
03-07-2012, 08:36 PM
Which Brian James Freeman? The one from CD or the one from LRB? :cool:

No, there's a Brian James Freeman who's a writer. CD has published some of his stuff, but it can't be the same guy. :p

srboone
03-07-2012, 08:36 PM
http://ts1.mm.bing.net/images/thumbnail.aspx?q=4547078071255404&id=6d896697a70bc1587d518c679d61ecde&index=newexp

Tasmaniac
03-07-2012, 09:20 PM
Technically there's another one that stole the name. Except he's Brian Freeman, not Brian James Freeman.

Years ago I emailed Brian to say how much I enjoyed reading his novel, Immoral. He was very gracious in stating it was written by a different Brian Freeman! Man, did I feel like a boob!

Two Brian Freemans in the US? What are the odds? :p

Brian James Freeman
03-07-2012, 09:31 PM
Years ago I emailed Brian to say how much I enjoyed reading his novel, Immoral. He was very gracious in stating it was written by a different Brian Freeman! Man, did I feel like a boob!

Two Brian Freemans in the US? What are the odds? :p

What really caused a lot of confusion was that I had been publishing under the name Brian Freeman since 1994, but then another Brian Freeman came along in the mid-2000s. Normally what you'll see the new author do in that situation is add a middle initial or middle name to their byline, or use a variation on their name, but he decided not to for some reason. Of course, I was not the first Brian Freeman ever in publishing. There were a few others who were, as far as I could tell in the 90s, retired by the time I came along. Oh well. I've grown to like seeing my middle name on the cover, and it DOES make it easier to sort of my work out of any search results. :)

Brian

bsaenz24
03-07-2012, 09:46 PM
Hey Brian, if it would make it easier, you could put my name on the books from now on. It whould be easily distinguished from other author names for searching purposes. Also, I know 'the ladies" would just love me in "my" author photo.

bookworm 1
03-08-2012, 12:54 AM
I almost bought a book from the other Brian Freeman and when I realized it was not the same person I became more confused and then Brian freeman from CD and LRB became Brian James Freeman and I fell down on the floor crying cause I thought I was loosing my mind.Then I realised you can not loose what you do not have.Then someone set me straight and I felt sooo much better................till today and you guys made me relive my nightmare.:rolleyes:

bookworm 1
03-08-2012, 12:55 AM
Hey Brian, if it would make it easier, you could put my name on the books from now on. It whould be easily distinguished from other author names for searching purposes. Also, I know 'the ladies" would just love me in "my" author photo.If you put my name on your books and my picture you can keep the royalties.Just send me every book LRB and CD put out for ever.

Teriw
03-08-2012, 03:38 AM
That would be an awesome contest prize. Every book from now going forth.

TerryE
03-09-2012, 09:05 PM
Well, once upon a time I did win a lifetime subscription to the magazine, but one of those lifetime subscriptions to the books would be an awesome contest prize.

srboone
03-09-2012, 09:09 PM
I could live with that! (I also have a lifetime sub to CD mag.)

Teriw
03-09-2012, 09:43 PM
I still hate you for that

bookworm 1
03-09-2012, 09:53 PM
Shouldn't that post be in the other thread:rolleyes:
I still hate you for that

Teriw
03-09-2012, 09:54 PM
I hate him for alot of reasons it was meant for here but im sure theres quite a few other threads it fits.

srboone
03-09-2012, 10:18 PM
I have that effect on women...

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_K-33hXu9rCk/TU0aeiRWq3I/AAAAAAAAAuE/d5Htven2HNI/s1600/SHRUG.gif

jester05jk
03-11-2012, 04:01 AM
I say start responding as James Kidman, that'll really confuse him.

Menace
03-17-2012, 01:18 PM
That would be an awesome contest prize. Every book from now going forth.

That would be an awesome contest. What also would be awesome contest is that Cd would have one of their authors (Brian Freeman) use a contest winners Name as one of the main characters in a novel or short story that they are working on. And the winner also gets a signed limited edition of that book. Now that would be awesome contest. Just a thought.

Teriw
03-17-2012, 06:52 PM
I like that Idea Menace...depending on that character gets depicted. lol

srboone
03-17-2012, 07:06 PM
Well, the villian in Ronald Kelly's first novel was named Squire and the hero in his upcoming novel is named Boone...:o

srboone
03-17-2012, 07:07 PM
I know, Teri. Reason #3549 that you hate me...

Teriw
03-17-2012, 07:09 PM
Why would I hate you for that? I dont even know who Ronald Kelly is. lol. I've seen him around here but thats it.

srboone
03-17-2012, 07:12 PM
http://www.cemeterydance.com/page/CDP/PROD/kelly01

http://www.cemeterydance.com/page/CDP/PROD/kelly02

And his upcoming novel A Dark and Bloody Ground is supposed to be published by CD this year.

Teriw
03-17-2012, 07:14 PM
Right on, still don't hate you though. well, not for this reason anyway. Maybe for that Danse Macabre you have on hold a Betts and a whole lot others that i currently forget. lol

srboone
03-17-2012, 07:18 PM
Ok. Ronald Kelly is my avorite discovery through CD.

srboone
03-17-2012, 07:20 PM
At least now, he finally put the book on hold on his website.

Teriw
03-17-2012, 07:24 PM
I noticed that yesterday